Christmas Fears

Every year, I wake up first. And I worry. “Did I buy enough stuff?” “Did someone get me something who I did’t get something for?” I remember when I was a kid, and the toys were opened, and breakfast was finished, and I wanted to go to my friends house, I couldn’t, because “They want to spend time with their famlies. I would think “If I want to go see my friends, why wouldn’t my friends want to see me?”

Christmas isn’t a religious holiday for me, it’s a custom. For me it’s nicer to give than receive, on the other hand, when someone receives a lot, they might feel bad too. I remember one year my wife cried because I got her more stuff than she got me. I felt bad that she felt bad, but I also know how bad I would have felt if the roles were reversed.

It’s nice, but for me, Christmas is a no-win situation. I wake up, first usually, (like every day) and I feel stress, either I bought too much or not enough. When the gift opening is done, and everyone seems happy, I feel relieved.

I know this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, but that’s now it is for me.

Have a great new year!

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